February 12, 2019
Is she out yet?
You are carrying high, she hasn’t dropped yet!
I told you it would be Thursday!
You should do…XYZ
When I was pregnant…
The list goes on and on…
With advancements in technology and the use of social media, we (as a society) feel a need to be constantly connected to others. It actually feels like we have permission to interject ourselves into someone else’s life. It also feels like we need to respond when every person you know reaches out.
We don’t have permission to send questions and requests for updates morning, noon, and night. AND. We are not required to answer all of them. In fact, today we have a few tips and tricks for both reaching out and responding during different seasons in your life, particularly when you are 40+ weeks pregnant!
I have spent the last few days with my best friend waiting for her sweet baby girl’s arrival. Living life alongside her has been fulfilling, exciting, and educational. I used to be the friend who checked in and sent a million messages because I thought it was sweet and caring. What I now know is that it can be overwhelming, guilt-inducing, and annoying (when everyone is doing it at the same time). Rebecca receives tons of messages in ten-minute increments.
I watched her respond to every text with a sweet demeanor and as the texts continued to come in, I watched her get tired and flustered. I could see that she just wanted to be in the moment. Be present. Enjoy her last doctor’s appointment. Mingle with friends at her favorite lunch spot. And when she did commit to putting her phone down, she felt overwhelmed when she picked it up again.
Just when she needed it most (but probably didn’t even recognize it yet) a friend sent her a picture of a post expecting moms can put on Facebook…it was like a light bulb went off! A beautiful, bright, and stress-relieving light bulb! The picture had a sweet message asking family and friends to respect their time and privacy as they waited for their baby to arrive. It was perfect. You can use the one I made for you below if you are in need of something similar!
Just in case someone missed your post about keeping the birth of their baby private until you can share it with the world, we recommend changing your Facebook settings so that no one can post on your wall or tag you! This doesn’t have to be indefinite! You can revert back to your original settings when you are ready!
This will allow you to have fewer notifications popping up on your phone, be more present before, during, and after your baby is born, and give you a more peaceful entry into parenthood!
Not sure how to change those Facebook settings? Check out directions here.
Sometimes our family and friends are concerned, excited, and just love you to pieces, and they think they are being helpful by sending a million messages about your baby. BUT! If you are feeling overwhelmed and the mere sound of your text messaging notification makes you want to scream. Turn off the notifications or mute individual people. This way you can answer on your own time.
You can download an Automated Text Messaging App for Android or iPhone that will automatically send a reply message to anyone on your contact list, or just chosen contacts! This allows you to develop a text message that is loving and caring, but that also allows your family and friends to know that you are taking some time away from your phone to prepare for your baby’s arrival and that you will update them after the baby is born, or whenever you feel ready!
If there are specific people that you would like to keep in the loop, create a group text message where you can let them all know at the same time! The trick to a group text message is to include a little blurb about not responding. Some of us absolutely hate being on group messages and how fair is it that we do to them what we don’t want them to do to us!? So, to keep everyone happy, ask that your group members don’t respond within the group message!
If turning off your notifications or muting conversations isn’t for you, you can also set time aside to respond to family and friends when it is right for you! It also helps to create a generic message that you can copy and paste into each text requesting updates! This will save you time and eliminate your stress level as you are trying to navigate the last few days before giving birth! You do not have to respond right away! Your family and friends will still love you!
This post is not to encourage friends and family to ghost their loved one as they are expecting! It is just to remind you that if you are texting, so are a thousand other people. Everyone loves babies! So here are some ways you can show your love during this season of their life!
We are not by any means saying don’t ever text a pregnant person! However, we are saying that you should allow them to update you on their own time. If you are going to send a message, don’t ask for an update or ask a question that benefits you – ask a question that benefits them!
This is self-explanatory!
-I am off of work on Tuesday, if you would like to have your nails fresh for the delivery, I would love to take you for a manicure. I can pick you up if you are interested!
– Hello! I am prepping meals for this week and I would love to make you something and drop it off so you can keep it in the freezer. If you are interested, let me know if you have a favorite and if there is a better time to bring it over.
-Hey, just checking in. I am so excited for baby to arrive, but I know you obviously are too. I am available to bring you guys dinner one evening next week, so if it gets to crazy, just let me know!
Throw it out there as a gesture of love, not as an act to get approval, recognition, or to make yourself feel better. If they don’t answer, know their world is about to be rocked and they may not get to it. They love you and appreciate your message. Believe us!
We know you are trying to be helpful, but scaring the b-jesus out of someone is not a great idea, no matter what your intention is, and we understand that medicine is only a practice and sure it is possible the doctors have it wrong. BUT! Expecting mammas choose their doctor/office and you have to trust that they are making the right choice for them!
I know… texting is quick, already paid for, and it satisfies the immediate gratification. We get it! Why not grab a little note and write a letter to your friend or family member. Let them know they don’t need to respond but they just wanted to make them smile. You could even write a letter to the unborn baby! This will make mamma smile and the baby will have a keepsake to read when he/she is older!
For more maternity blog posts from, check out:
No. 2 | Lace Maternity Boudoir
No. 3 | Rebecca’s Pregnancy Announcement
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